Because God is good, The CW is really, actually and truly moving forward with a reality series about musical chairs called Oh Sit. The premise: literally a weekly game of musical chairs, but with obstacles! Sound dumb? Maybe, but in my opinion Oh Sit is a truly remarkable innovation in the medium of television because it’s the first show you can watch entirely in fast-forward without missing a thing. And what will you do with the time you save each week? You will watch one of these new series I have created:
Duck, Duck, Goose
A duck, another duck and a goose are brought out. Contestants have to decided which two are the ducks and which is the goose.
Jennie Garth, Amanda Bynes and Elle Fanning play sisters. Every week they fight over who gets to be the silver Monopoly dog and who has to be the thimble. Sometimes one of the girls is nice and lets her sister be the dog even though that means she has to take the thimble. (Note: Monopoly is the framing device.)
Latino comedians tell jokes about how Latino comedians are different from white comedians while children whack them with sticks.
Solitaire: The Miniseries
Gabriel Byrne plays solitaire while reciting a monologue about his regrets. No other characters appear. Unfolds in seven hour-long installments.
Pin the Tail on the Donkey
The donkey is not a donkey at all, it is a Kardashian.