January 25, 2012
“Including but not limited to: not being able to read this.”

“Including but not limited to: not being able to read this.”

The horse from War Horse in a tux and other Oscars drawings…

The horse from War Horse in a tux and other Oscars drawings…

January 23, 2012
Nice try, science nerds, but the rest of us have been using pillow breasts for years.

Nice try, science nerds, but the rest of us have been using pillow breasts for years.

January 20, 2012
iPhone on iPhone: Is it pornography or self-portraiture?

iPhone on iPhone: Is it pornography or self-portraiture?

January 19, 2012
Dr. Slacker and Mrs. I Doubt I’ll Ever Wear These

Dr. Slacker and Mrs. I Doubt I’ll Ever Wear These

January 18, 2012
Chef Yack’s Bif Stu is a favorite over here at Cafay My Folks’ Joint.

Chef Yack’s Bif Stu is a favorite over here at Cafay My Folks’ Joint.

January 14, 2012
I have taken some hilarious stock photography about how writing is just like doing drugs.

I have taken some hilarious stock photography about how writing is just like doing drugs.

Hi, I’m awful! But really, I’m trying to quit drinking, which means I spend a lot of time sitting around pointedly not drinking, thinking about how very much I am so totally not drinking. It’s a great headspace to be in, if anyone wants to come over and overdose on water while talking about how we are so totally maybe going to overdose on water…

Hi, I’m awful!

But really, I’m trying to quit drinking, which means I spend a lot of time sitting around pointedly not drinking, thinking about how very much I am so totally not drinking. It’s a great headspace to be in, if anyone wants to come over and overdose on water while talking about how we are so totally maybe going to overdose on water…

January 13, 2012

5 Pitches Inspired By The CW’s New Musical Chairs-Themed Show

Because God is good, The CW is really, actually and truly moving forward with a reality series about musical chairs called Oh Sit. The premise: literally a weekly game of musical chairs, but with obstacles! Sound dumb? Maybe, but in my opinion Oh Sit is a truly remarkable innovation in the medium of television because it’s the first show you can watch entirely in fast-forward without missing a thing. And what will you do with the time you save each week? You will watch one of these new series I have created:

Duck, Duck, Goose
A duck, another duck and a goose are brought out. Contestants have to decided which two are the ducks and which is the goose.

Monopoly!
Jennie Garth, Amanda Bynes and Elle Fanning play sisters. Every week they fight over who gets to be the silver Monopoly dog and who has to be the thimble. Sometimes one of the girls is nice and lets her sister be the dog even though that means she has to take the thimble. (Note: Monopoly is the framing device.)

Piñata Fiesta!
Latino comedians tell jokes about how Latino comedians are different from white comedians while children whack them with sticks.

Solitaire: The Miniseries
Gabriel Byrne plays solitaire while reciting a monologue about his regrets. No other characters appear. Unfolds in seven hour-long installments.

Pin the Tail on the Donkey
The donkey is not a donkey at all, it is a Kardashian.

January 11, 2012
The human experience.

The human experience.